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Wednesday, January 27, 2010
"let us love everyone...except those we hate."
i need to get some things off my mind.
looking at life now- it's funny how you can victimize someone when you think you're being victimized yourself. it happens more than anyone thinks, and through, well, not very subtle ways sometimes. we are all too selfish at times, but then again we don't realize it till it's too late.
looking at hypocrisy; i laughed the time when paultan was describing christine in miss julie- 'it's all a facade'. highfive sir. but if you look at many things happening right now, it is mostly a facade (you can be optimistic and say no, it's not; that wouldn't be lying but it'd just mean you aren't looking deep enough.). life seems to me like a some giant facade at times especially at this modern day and age- i more or less only realized that after reading through hedda/missjulie seriously. the plays are, although not many realize, far more realistic than any other story/tale you hear nowadays. it's interesting to see how there's more behind a single value- let's say, hedda is a control freak. why? there're many explanations. upbringing? a desire to unleash repressed freedom? boredom? and more. the plays really show the complexities of the human brain and that life isn't as simple as it seems sometimes.
put simply, you can't just say hedda is 'mean'. well, that's how people are described nowadays right. "he's so mean". "she's so lazy." "he's so playful." there are more reasons than just one motive behind a character value, people. but we so often lack the empathy to really understand others, and we give the classic 'i understand' to others to comfort...marginally. but, empathy is something much needed that is lacking among us, mostly. 'it's okay' is another phrase i have issues with- but since it's so common nowadays why bother worrying about it.
sometimes i wonder if we unconsciously lie to ourselves to make ourselves feel better about something. that we're not the one at fault, that others are to blame, that things will get better when they probably won't, and so on. of course this's another purported claim for the origin of religion- something that'll give meaning to life, so that it doesn't seem so hopeless, that there's a brighter eternal future.
there are some times where it's hard to repress phrases like "lol that's bull" and "riiight." from coming out when i see things so...ironically wrong. shall not go into what matter directly, but it was kinda...sad and funny at the same time. i think people find my employing of the socratic dialectic overcritical and self righteous but, they don't see the whole point of it, it means well, but nevermind that's okay.
i find that the way we study HG/MJ seem to be over-distant from the biographical context of the plays- that is, in relation to the playwright's own lives, from which the basis of the plays actually originated from (yes really, they did). it's quite a pity PT won't allow over-biographical/social essays for WL because it's really what the plays are about; the playwright's own life, and society at that time. we zoom too much into the literary aspect of the plays, yes we do look at the biographical/social/political even sometimes aspects of the play during analysis but far too little still i feel. in fact it seems more like a disgrace to me that way; like we're objectifying the plays or something, and therefore indirectly objectifying the playwright's lives (which, by the way, were really quite sad and unfortunate).
somehow after reading their biographies i think i'm a bit like them- but they went really out of control, blending fiction with reality- long story. i need to watch myself. but those playwrights went through a lot; sometimes we think we're in a big enough mess, but wow, you haven't seen mess till you've read their bios. then again, probably only a few have since everyone else is focusing on the 'literary aspect of the play' which will get you a 7!! a 7: isn't that marvelous. the things people would do for it.
now my mind goes back to religion and the word facade keeps popping in somehow. well, pt really nailed it on the spot with what he said the other day when he was discussing the topic of 'godliness and ungodliness' in HG/MJ- if anyone really remembers. nah, probably not. but his message was on the dot. pt actually has a load of hidden implications behind his words- it's really quite interesting, what he says. his lessons are quite exciting- in my brain i'm going 'ohmygosh yes yes yes that is totally right' when his subtleties get to me....while mostly everyone else is silent. oh well maybe some others get what he says too. i think pt's a lot like me in the way we think- i kind of pity him because of that; it's harder to see everything with lies and pretense stripped down. and from his behaviour, cutting a long story short, i think he's more and more like me. hey, cool, i'm not alone.
but yes, so much is a facade if you think about it. wheee hypocrisy flying here and there. like, seriously think about it. does anyone think seriously nowadays. never mind. pity there isn't anyone else that'd be able to discuss such things- it'd be nice. and interesting. but no, people don't do such things.
oh, and if anyone's still stuck at the written commentary due tomorrow/today- here's a clue to help. it's obvious beyond belief, and if you should be ashamed if you haven't somehow incorporated this into your essay by now.
it's all a facade.
how funny, the passage runs alongside my thoughts.
i'm probably the only one who understands what's in this post but that's alright, i've probably revealed things about myself more than in any other post...if you understand what's in this post, that is.
but it's okay if you don't. this post is meant for me- i just needed to get the mess in my mind off. obviously, my thoughts are very badly phrased- i'm quite terrible at that- but the content is there. i see it, maybe you don't.
hm, i just realized how different i am irl. so playful sometimes. maybe i just prefer to keep thoughts to myself.
one last thought.
nowadays you never really see people keeping true to themselves anymore.
8:07 AM
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